Lots of us have seen the new video that has come out featuring Ray Rice and his wife. That few seconds of casino footage went viral and reminded people that domestic violence is a serious issue. Some of us anyway. This video sparked conversation between friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, family, and sports fans. This isn’t about whether or not he was the first athlete to commit such an offense but to make you think about women in general since we don’t get the credit we deserve. Women get paid less than men, we get harsher prison sentences than men do, and we suffer from an array of diseases more than our male counterparts. As a Black-American woman that’s a double edged sword. I’m not saying men are better than women because that’s stupid and something society uses to keep us in our place.
A lot of people who were condemning Ray Rice are the same people who don’t know how to interact with women. I’m not talking about just striking up a conversation or having sex I’m talking about how to REALLY treat a REAL WOMAN! Remember not everyone has been exposed to a real woman. There are hoes, bitches, ladies, females, girls, and WOMEN. Listen to some Ghostface Killah and you’ll learn the difference. In today’s mainstream rap music you only really hear about the bitches and hoes however you may hear something about females. A lady is just that a lady. She’s not getting in the trenches because she’s too cute. A girl is that an immature female and a female is a lady-like hoe. A woman is a lady that commands respect on all levels whereas a lady is more of an ornament compared to a showpiece. Now yes these are MY OPINIONS these descriptions aren’t in a book this is just my years of life experience that has taught me those definitions. I wonder why Nas’ ‘Daughters’ didn’t blow like it should’ve? Some even regard Hip Hop as a ‘woman’ you know how men do, you all give your cars and ‘favorite’ possessions female names! Method Man penned the classic Hip Hop ode to women ‘You’re All I Need (To Get By)’ featuring Mary J. Blige.
Not everyone’s mother is a lady or a woman which contributes to how some men view women. The same happens with women learning about men through their fathers or male figures in their life. The thing about life experiences and choices is that you don’t have to be that person. Just because a guy’s mother is a great woman doesn’t mean that he’ll automatically know how to treat women. Just because a girl has a good man for a father doesn’t mean she’ll seek out a good man in her relationships. Enough of the psychology let me bring it back to the music and you all should know where I’m going with this. Hip Hop has not regarded women in the greatest way just as its counterpart genre Rock N Roll. After seeing this new video of Ray Rice and his wife are you a domestic violence advocate now? For how long? Or is it only because you’re not a Ravens fan? Whatever your reasoning is it sincere? Are you really against domestic violence or are you against the discrimination and abuse of women?
A lot of these rappers have daughters but make music that don’t cultivate a healthy relationship between men and women. Schoolboy Q put his daughter on his debut album cover. Everybody is heads over heels for The Game’s daughter and Wayne and Diddy almost have WNBA starting fives! You have to consciously think about how you speak to women of any age because they are all mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, and grandmothers. Don’t forget I’m not talking about those others we mentioned I’m talking about WOMEN. The other ones get all the love and the radio play and people wonder why their toddler is twerking. Tupac isn’t here to write another ‘Dear Mama’ or ‘Keep Ya Head Up’. Hell these mainstream kids can’t even write a Hip Hop love song somebody get LL on the line! I’m not counting Drake because real women don’t always want to hear that extra sensitive rap. Plus he seems to only be infatuated with women and doesn’t express true admiration for them like in ‘Fancy’.
That’s part of why a ‘femcee’ can’t last in this game unless your hyper sexualized like the one chick. The thing with her is she understands it’s a business and is feeding into it and giving everybody what they want. Best believe she runs her situation and doesn’t do anything she doesn’t wholly agree with and sadly even if it’s posting topless photos. I just want everyone to appreciate women like it’s Mother’s Day every day! We need a balance and we’ve lost that in Hip Hop. It’s all sex, drugs, and money while everything else is thrown by the wayside. Not even to be picked up at a later date. Now with the images pushed on reality tv of Black-American women we have to shield our children from those images if you want them to have a better future. We don’t want our sons entertaining those type of girls and females I want them to recognize a real woman when they see her and I want him to have the confidence and the knowhow as to how to approach her and vice versa for our daughters. You should want the same. If a boy only relies on what he see and hears about women on the radio and television I know he’s confused! As a woman of Hip Hop Culture it is also part of my responsibility to advocate against these types of images. The models are the face while MC’s like Rapsody, Jean Grae, and others take a back seat. If these ‘models’ weren’t trying to get on and did something to stop the negative imagery then this is blog probably wouldn’t be warranted.